1. |
The Dead
01:49
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Ink on the skin again
to remember
what you want to forget.
But they'll never breathe again
no matter how close you get.
I learned to live with panic
deep beneath my lungs.
Unfamiliar roadways connected me to
flatlined pulses and you.
Oh God,
the blood lines stretched for miles, but there was nothing I could do.
I waited for the song to end so I could finally scream
with my most desperate sound--this is our town.
Ink on the skin again
so I won’t forget.
Ink on the skin again.
We won't forget.
I learned to live with panic
deep beneath my lungs.
That night trauma gave me a home,
but I still lost a piece of my soul.
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2. |
Constellations
03:39
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You change you change you change.
Why can't you stay the same?
You stay you stay you stay.
Why can't you stay away?
I still think about
our make believe constellations--
“the papery hands,”
“the gnarled branch,” “the tendril in the night.”
I don’t know
if you remember any of this.
Just a moment
in another sky that was too cluttered, too bright.
If only I could forget everything about you.
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3. |
Pact
03:11
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When I die I hope I'm alone.
I was too young when I sold my soul.
I carried the cross into the room.
I wore incense as my first perfume.
When I die I hope I’m alone.
I was too young when I sold my soul.
Since then I’ve lived in silence watching wind eat away my skin
while waiting for the end.
This is how I learned to doubt
my life of useless lungs.
Somewhere in this bonehouse I live.
But I’m all alone.
And I sold my soul.
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4. |
Summer Wheat
04:18
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We once lay
in summer wheat
making promises
we couldn’t keep.
A lifetime
used to feel long.
We said that
we’d stay that way.
But you changed right before my eyes.
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5. |
Interlude
00:52
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[...] the brain is really reaching. I see it, bloody [...] whitish. The layer of skull then skill like a geological map. The brain in itself like a person is thinking it’s made progress getting out but it’s sitting there motionless. It has no way of enacting its will. I want to reach my thumb and squinch into it.
[...] I feel a little disturbed but also glad. I still myself perfectly before myself, the sitting and skin peeled. My skull missing a chunk. Now I kick myself in the neck but my foot comes out past it like I don’t believe myself. [...]
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6. |
Pine and Black Oak
03:25
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Put me
in the middle
of the
place we used to be
But we have an ocean between us.
The forest is cold here.
A canopy
of pine and black oak
blankets the mountains.
The fog hasn’t lifted
as I go to the lake,
and let the water
suspend me.
I swear this spot
once meant everything;
I lived for that feeling.
but now I feel nothing,
and that makes me terrified.
Put me
in the middle.
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7. |
Dark Eyes
02:19
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Most days I feel like I’m going to plummet.
I hear your mouth saying words
right into my ears.
I never forget that I live in a void
that doesn’t even notice that I’m here.
I hear you in my head all the time,
but I never get to see you with my eyes.
We are the voice
that shouts back at the void.
I can't see light
with these dark eyes.
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8. |
Diffraction
02:52
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We amalgamate
with grace--
like shadow puppets.
All this beauty from
filtered light and dust--
like a piece of us.
I don’t think I can take it.
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9. |
Joseph
03:44
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The ground is cold.
You’re home now.
We put a blanket on you.
I didn't understand
the power of my hands
till I scratched your head
on that September day.
Later,
I couldn’t breathe when I saw the line
outside waiting
just to say goodbye.
How could that thing
sleeping in a casket once be alive?
But that was never
really you. You were in the music.
You were in the air.
And you sang about butterflies.
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